{"id":24005,"date":"2019-08-13T10:31:44","date_gmt":"2019-08-13T10:31:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/adoption-2020.local\/the-birthmother-experience-how-do-birth-mothers-feel-seeing-pictures-and-receiving-updates-of-their-child\/"},"modified":"2021-10-06T07:51:05","modified_gmt":"2021-10-06T14:51:05","slug":"the-birthmother-experience-how-do-birth-mothers-feel-seeing-pictures-and-receiving-updates-of-their-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/adoptionnetwork.com\/the-birthmother-experience-how-do-birth-mothers-feel-seeing-pictures-and-receiving-updates-of-their-child\/","title":{"rendered":"The Birthmother Experience: How Do Birth Mothers Feel Seeing Pictures and Receiving Updates of Their Child?"},"content":{"rendered":"

How Do Birth Mothers
\nFeel Seeing Pictures and Receiving Updates of Their Child<\/o_p><\/b><\/p>\n

How Do Birth Mothers Feel NOT<\/b> Seeing Pictures and Receiving Updates of Their Child (next
\nweek)<\/o_p><\/p>\n

Open adoption has so many components to it, and if we are
\nbeing honest, IT\u2019S SCARY. While I can only imagine the fears and worries adoptive
\nparents might experience when starting their open adoption journey, I can tell
\nyou from my personal experience that having openness is what has reaffirmed my
\ndecision over and over and over again.<\/o_p><\/p>\n

I think the number one fear I have heard from adoptive
\nparents over the years is, \u201cWhat if she sees the baby and then wants him\/her
\nback?\u201d And while I can\u2019t guarantee that there are not birth parents out there
\nthat might feel that way, I would say the overwhelming majority don\u2019t. In fact
\nreceiving updates and seeing my birth daughter has had the opposite effect on
\nme and many other birth parents.<\/o_p><\/p>\n

I vividly remember my first visit with my birth daughter and
\nher parents after leaving the hospital. I was so nervous about how I would feel
\nseeing her and holding her. I honestly was afraid I would want to take her
\nback. I remember holding her and talking with her parents and genuinely
\nenjoying the time we were spending together. Then it was time for them to go.
\nAfter they left my mom asked me how I felt and I said, \u201cActually Mom, this is
\nthe most at peace I have ever felt with my decision.\u201d It was the first time
\nthat I 100% felt like I had made the best decision for her. I got to witness
\nthem doting over her and fighting about who would GET to change her diaper (not
\nHAVE to change it). She had two amazing and loving parents who were there for
\nher every need. It was exactly what I wanted for her. Exactly what she
\ndeserved.<\/o_p><\/p>\n

Over the years as our openness has grown, seeing her
\nlaughing and smiling and thriving is what reassures me every time that I made
\nthe right decision. When I get pictures of her smiling on vacation in Europe I
\nget so excited that she is getting the chance to travel the world. I see the
\nbeautiful life she is living with endless opportunities that I could not have
\nprovided her, and I am so happy that she has that. That\u2019s all I ever wanted for
\nher. Now, again, I wouldn\u2019t want to lead you to believe that there aren\u2019t times
\nwhen I see her pictures or get updates that don\u2019t make me sad or make me miss
\nher. That definitely happens too. But then, not too long after the sadness, I
\nam reminded that she is living her very best life and that is because of my
\ndecision. <\/o_p><\/p>\n

Here are some things that other birth mothers have said about
\nseeing pictures and receiving updates about their child. <\/o_p><\/p>\n

\u201cIt makes me feel so happy that he\u2019s growing and enjoying
\nlife with his family. I have an open adoption but sometimes the pictures are
\nfewer than before. And I\u2019m ok with that, because I know he\u2019s living life. But
\nsad sometimes because I wonder if his parents ever think of the hospital
\nexperience or of me or my daughters.\u201d \u2013 Cedia O.<\/o_p><\/p>\n

\u201cAt first it was very hard to see and now, after 5 years, I
\nlook at my son and am shocked at how big he got and the crazy things he\u2019s doing,
\nand then I get happy and realize it was the best thing for him.\u201d \u2013 Jessica G.<\/o_p><\/p>\n

\u201cMy daughter went to an amazing couple who sent pics and
\nupdates all the time. I felt as if I really knew my daughter from a
\ndistance. I love them both to the moon and love hearing about their life
\ntogether….\u201d \u2013 Darcee C.<\/o_p><\/p>\n

Openness is scary and it is a huge unknown. We get it. BUT
\nopenness and updates can be the difference between your birth mother healing or
\nnot. It can be the difference between your birth mother feeling reassured, or
\nspending the rest of her life wondering if she made the right decision. This
\nwoman has given you her everything and in return has asked for a few pictures
\nand updates throughout the years. And when put in that perspective, it seems
\nlike a reasonable request. So if you don\u2019t want to do it for yourself, do it
\nfor your birth mother, the woman who entrusted you with the most precious gift
\nshe has to give. It can make a bigger difference than you could ever imagine.<\/p>\n

Author: Ali D.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How Do Birth Mothers Feel Seeing Pictures and Receiving Updates of Their Child How Do Birth Mothers Feel NOT Seeing Pictures and Receiving Updates of Their Child (next week) Open adoption has so many components to it, and if we are being honest, IT\u2019S SCARY. While I can only imagine the fears and worries adoptive…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10914,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[649],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24005","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-birth-mothers"],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/adoptionnetwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24005","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/adoptionnetwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/adoptionnetwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adoptionnetwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10914"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adoptionnetwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24005"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/adoptionnetwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24005\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/adoptionnetwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24005"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adoptionnetwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24005"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adoptionnetwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24005"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}