EDUCATE YOURSELF

 Read adoption books – There are so many books and articles talking about all things adoption. These resources can help to prepare you for the path ahead and the realities of parenting and adoption. Here are a few we recommend.

• The Open Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole by Lori Holden
• Dear Birthmother by Kathleen Silber
• Inconvenient Daughter by Lauren J. Sharkey
• The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler
• The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk
• All You Can Ever Know by Nicole Chung
• In Due Time Devotional (Hope and Encouragement in the Waiting)

Listen to adoption-related podcasts – Sometimes we don’t have the time to sit and read a book, but there are a number of podcasts that address every topic surrounding adoption. You can listen on your commute to and from work or even while you workout or walk the dog. Whether it is hearing from an adoption professional, an alumni adoptive parent, or even a birthmother, these are invaluable resources that can open your mind to all the different experiences and intricacies of adoption.

• Quiver Full Adoptions Podcast
• Adoption NOW Podcast
• Creating a Family: Talk About Infertility and Adoption
• Twisted Sisterhood

Read adoption related blogs – Maybe you prefer reading to listening to a podcast, but don’t have the time to dedicate to reading a whole book. There are so many blogs written by people who are going through or have been through the adoption process. Their experiences and stories not only have the opportunity to educate you, but also to offer support and words of advice and wisdom. Kindred + Co. is a support network designed for those who are going through the adoption process. They have a great blog and Instagram page that educates and offers support. This leads us perfectly into our next way to wait well.

SEEK SUPPORT

Find an adoption support group – It can be very helpful to find parents who are currently going through or have been through the adoption process. While friends and family are a great source of support, it can be very helpful to be surrounded by people who understand exactly what you are experiencing. It can be a good way to learn what to expect, how others are coping with the wait, and to hear others’ adoption stories. There are so many support groups both online and in-person. You can visit the National Council for Adoptable Children’s website to find a support group near you or do a simple Google search.

https://www.nacac.org/connect/parent-group/

Reach out to your adoption professional – They are there not only to share in your excitement throughout your adoption journey, but also to support you through the times you are feeling the burden of the wait. If you are one of our clients, please reach out to your client liaison or adoption advisor. We know it isn’t easy and we would be honored to walk in that with you. It is completely normal to feel hopeless, anxious, discouraged or all of the above at times. But you don’t need to endure that alone.

SELF CARE

 Enjoy time to yourself – While this may sound trivial, once your new child arrives there will be a lot less time to do the things you enjoy. Make sure you take time to relax before you don’t have the option to. Whether that is making time for your hobbies, spending time with your friends and family, traveling, or just taking a bubble bath, these things can help to occupy your mind and rejuvenate you during your adoption journey.

Spend time with your partner – Like taking time for yourself, spending quality time with your partner one-on-one is really important. Whether that is a romantic dinner out, a creative date night in, a weekend getaway, or just watching your favorite movies together, these are things that you may not have as much time for once your little one joins your family.

Create something for your child – Writing in a journal, writing your future child a letter, or creating a keepsake can not only be an outlet for your emotion during the process, but also a way to connect with your child before he or she arrives. Here are a couple journals we love (both can be found on Amazon).

• I Wished for You: A Keepsake Adoption Journal
• Our Adoption Story: The Journey That Brought Us To You

When this happens, a child can no longer be placed with the adoptive family for a number of different reasons. Adoption disruption can happen, and oftentimes finances are involved. Fortunately, there is financial protection that may allow for some of the finances to be returned for when, and if, an adoption disruption occurs provided by Adoption Network.

Why You Need Financial Protection Financial Protection

The cost of adoption can be very high, so when an adoption disruption occurs, you can be out of a lot of money. In addition to the heartache, pain, and emotions involved in not being able to place a child, the financial devastation that comes with it can cause a lot of serious problems for the adoptive family as well as the Birth Mother and father.

For some adoptive families, an adoptive disruption without financial protection makes it next to impossible to attempt an adoption again because they simply do not have the funds to begin the process all over. This could mean that a child misses out on a wonderful, loving family to grow up with, as well as financial hardship for the adoptive family themselves.

If you are entitled to financial protection, you can avoid this harrowing pitfall, protect your finances, and still be placed with a child.

How We Can Help

Adoption Network Law Center focuses on building a trusting relationship with its Birth Mothers as well as fostering a trusting relationship between the Birth Mother and her Adopting Parents. This relationship helps identify a Birth Mother’s needs and helps us understand her commitment to her adoption plan. This is incredibly important because, if the communication between Adoption Network and our Birth Mothers is not completely clear, there is a higher risk of an adoption disruption due to the Birth Mother changing her mind. We do all that is possible to avoid this from happening, and it starts with laying a foundation of trust and complete honesty with all of our clients.

Adoption Network Law Center’s commitment to the Birth Mother support system is extremely successful in creating a comfort level with Birth Mothers and understanding the factors and circumstances that have led her to adoption helps Adoption Network Law Center analyze her commitment to the adoption. Through conversation, interaction and an extensive screening process, we can gather the needs and wants of a Birth Mother, thereby drawing up the perfect adoption plan for her and her child.

Being Prepared

Being prepared While there is no way to guarantee against a Birth Mother changing her mind or an unforeseen health issue with the baby, Adoption Network Law Center stands by its commitment to provide every Adopting Family with services until a successful adoption is achieved. Adoption Network Law Center will continue to provide services at no additional cost because all expenses are mentioned upfront. In addition, circumstances may provide for a refund of Birth Mother support

All in all, working with Adoption Network Law Center takes a very severe risk out of the adoption process. In the event of a disruption, we can give you peace of mind when it comes to financial and moral support. We understand how important it is to be placed with a child you can love and care for as they grow, and we don’t want these dreams inhibited by an adoption disruption. It is important to be prepared for such an event, but should it happen, you don’t have to worry about never adopting a child due to financial hardship. We will work with you.

The adoption process can take an incredibly long time, which can cause serious strain and stress for some families. Usually, the time it takes to adopt a baby can be anywhere from several months to a year or more, and the wait time can be even longer to adopt a child through international adoptions. Though long wait times may be necessary for some adoptions, many families wish to find ways to reduce these long waits in any way that they can.

There are a wide variety of reasons why wait times may vary from adoption to adoption, and this includes the personal preferences of the Adopting Parents. Fortunately, there are ways to minimize adoption wait times that can help you adopt a child grow your family sooner rather than later. Other reasons may include financial funds. Typically, if allowed by state law, Birth Mothers require financial assistance during their adoption journey. Having funds set aside beforehand, as allowed by state law, for these expenses may help speed up the preparedness of the Adoptive Family.

These options, tips, and tweaks to your adoption plan can help minimize your wait time. Throughout your adoption journey, Adoption Network is here to guide you through every step and help you minimize your wait time as best as possible.

Why Adoption can Take so Long

In both domestic and international adoptions, average wait times for adopting a child can range from a few months to over years. A lot goes into adoption, and there are often very stringent requirements set in place by the government, as well as adoption agencies and professionals, in different states and countries.

Your adoption wait time could be lower or higher depending upon where you adopt from, and the type of adoption you opt for can play a part in the wait time as well. For example, if you decide to adopt a child from outside of the country, you will have to follow not only your home country’s adoption rules, but also the rules of adoption in your child’s home country. With the combination or requirements, rules, and stipulations, waiting for your child can become a long process.

What you can do to Reduce the Wait Time

There may be certain factors that help minimize adoption wait times. Your adoption preferences will play a major factor in your wait time.The stricter your adoption plan and preferences, the longer the wait time can be.

Some families find that having a rigid adoption plan is best for ensuring that everything runs smoothly when trying to adopt a baby. Such rigid plans, however, leave little room for any changes that can actually bring your child to you sooner. The best thing to do if you want a shorter wait to is to have plenty of flexibility in both your plan and the various factors associated with adoption. These include:

• Race: As Adopting Parents, you may have preferences in the race/ethnicity of the child you would like to adopt. When you are open to adopting a child of a different race/ethnicity, your profiles will be seen by more Birth Parents, which may help in minimizing your wait time.
• Gender: Those who approach adoption with a certain child in mind may think they’ll make their adoption process go faster, but it can actually slow things down. Wanting a boy or a girl can affect wait times depending upon age, availability, health, and other factors depending upon where the child is being adopted from.
• Budget: Adoption can get pricey, and though there are grants and loans available for adoptive families, sometimes the budget just isn’t what it needs to be. Your budget can get a major say in when you adopt, who you adopt, and how you adopt, so it’s important to be as financially prepared as possible. This means being open to taking out loans and applying for grants, as well as other financial resources and avenues.
• Contact with Birth Parents: Whether you choose an open or closed adoption can impact your wait time as well. It is difficult to say which choice is shorter, as each come with their own advantages and disadvantages. This factor relies heavily on the child that is placed with you and the relationship you hold with the Birth Parents. Today, most adoptions are open or semi­open in which the Birth Mother may receive photos and/or update about the child, and, in some cases, may even visit.

While adoption wait times can be long, you don’t have to suffer and wait forever. Try to be open, flexible, and ready for anything when looking to minimize wait times. By doing so, you can find ways to be more open to the many diverse options. Sometimes, the wait time can be dramatically affected by your own personal desires and wants in your adoption plan.

Take a look and re­evaluate what is important to you in your adoption preferences and talk with your adoption professional for guidance. It may be that the perfect child for your family is one that you never expected. In every case, any child is a miracle of life and a blessing, and he/she will certainly find a home in your arms if you surround it with love.

Factors to consider when making a name change in adoption:

1. Safety

There are many factors to consider when making a naming decision. One important condition includes safety. Is a name change a matter of protecting the child and the family’s privacy? This factor most often occurs in the case of foster care adoptions when the adoptive family does not want an unsafe birth family member to be able to find the child or contact the family.

2. The child’s age

Another factor to consider is the child’s age. An older child may not be comfortable with a name change. On the other hand, an older child may be able to clearly convey his or her feelings regarding a name change, and if a change is desired, the child may be interested in choosing the name. However, a younger child, such as an infant or toddler, cannot convey their desires, leaving adoptive parents to only guess how the child may feel about a name change (or lack of name change) in the future.

3. Pronunciation and spelling

Yet another element to consider is the name’s pronunciation and spelling. Names that are difficult to say and spell may cause issues for the child in school and with future employers, as well as in day-to-day interactions. However, the uniqueness of name can also be something special. If the child was named by his or her biological parents, that name might carry important meaning and signify a gift given to the child by the birth parents. Changing that name could be hurtful to both the child and the biological parents, though some birth parents extend an invitation to the adoptive family to re-name the child. If that offer isn’t available, such as in the case of a child who was placed in orphanage and has no contact with biological family members, the name may be traditional to the child’s race or ethnicity. Changing this name, or keeping it, has its own pros and cons.

4. Rite-of-passage for parents

Finally, naming a child is very important to some adoptive parents because it signifies a rite-of-passage into real, long-awaited parenthood, something the parents may have been dreaming of for years or even decades. Adoptive parents should know that it’s perfectly normal and healthy for them to have the desire to give their child a name they’ve chosen. Perhaps they desire to give the child a family name or a name that starts with the same letter of the alphabet as the child’s new siblings.

5. Compromises

There are certainly some compromises as opposed to an all-or-nothing approach. An adoptive family may choose to keep part of the child’s original name and add to it the name they have chosen. Many of my friends who have adopted children internationally choose to give their children an American first name and keep the child’s original first name as the child’s middle name.

Sometimes birth parents and adoptive parents co-name a child. If the child is old enough, he or she may co-name with the adoptive parents or ask that they select a new name.

Many times, with biological and adopted children, a child is given a special nickname or goes by his or her middle name rather than their first name. Or some, me included, have two middle names, offering even more flexibility in what the child will be called.

Some adoptive families give a child a name that has a special meaning. Names and their meanings can be found in many books and websites. I know adoptive families that have chosen names that symbolize the adoption and what adoption means to them. Such names they have chosen mean things like light or gift.

There are many things the adoptive family should consider when naming their newly adopted child, but ultimately, the naming process should involve joy.

By Rachel G.